Today is a day to remember and honor all fathers. Everyone either is one or has one, and everybody surely knows one. Please thank them. Or, at the very least, thank God for them. There are few things that have more potential impact in this world than fatherhood. With it comes the potential to raise children of confidence and greatness. It also holds the potential to create brokenness and pain worse than all else. Here are some statistics regarding fatherhood:
– 43% of the children in this country live without a father.
– 85% of the youths in prison grew up without a dad.
– 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.
– Fatherless boys and girls are:
– Twice as likely to drop out of school
– Twice as likely to end up in jail
– Four times as likely to have emotional or behavioral problems
Fatherlessness is gradually growing into an epidemic in this country. With the divorce rate hovering at roughly 50%, fatherless homes are feeding into a perpetual cycle. Children, sons especially, grow up without present fathers, and this in turn leads to them being absent to their own families.
In one short generation, the family unit, specifically the father-role, has deteriorated at an incredibly rapid pace.
But, the good news is that fathers have incredible power to redeem these failings.
If you are a father, recommit yourself to being present and empowering to your children.
If you know a father, encourage and equip him to be all that he can be for his family.
If you have a father, thank him for being what he could be for you.
No father is perfect. Most have made serious mistakes. The statistics above show that almost half have been absent to their children.
There are many fathers who believe that because of past absence in their children’s lives, they can’t change and begin being the great fathers they were created to be–“It’s too hard”, “I’ve already made too many mistakes”.
Those are lies.
It is never too late to say sorry.
It is never too late to turn around.
This world needs fathers who aren’t afraid to admit past mistakes and leave them in the past. And we need their broken, hurting children to forgive them. Humanity is loaded with the potential of familial wholeness, waiting to explode with the brilliance that rightly ordered families exude. So many wounds would be prevented and many problems would disappear if every child grew up with an empowering, present father and a loving mother.
Jesus told a story about an absent son returning home after abandoning his father and squandering loads of his money. Despite being bitter and resentful, his father ran wildly through his fields, diving on his son to embrace him. He gazed with awe into his eyes, and screamed to all that could hear “This son of mine was dead. But now he is alive again!”
This story must play out before us today, but reversed: The children are waiting, patiently, in their homes. Their eyes look out over the fields, gazing for even the hint of a shadow on the horizon. They wait for their fathers to return. And when they do, the children will rush out with open arms, running across the fields. Each step towards their fathers will be a step towards forgiveness. When they get close enough, they’ll envelop their dads in their arms. They’ll exclaim, “What you did in the past hurt. You left. You were gone. But you came back! You are home once again!”
The children of this world are waiting—they are groaning. But it must be the fathers that turn the tide. The children must forgive, but the fathers must return.
If you are a dad that has ever been absent, ask your children for forgiveness.
It’s very hard.
Do it anyways.
If you are a child who has ever known the pain of being abandoned by your father, know also the regret he likely feels. Begin to forgive your Dad.
It’s very hard.
Do it anyways.
Create the space and the opportunities to begin reconciliation. Fathers were created to be in deep relationship with their children. And it’s that relationship which points to God.
Jesus related to God solely through the Father-Son relationship; knowing and loving your earthly Father and naturally leads to understanding who God is and how he loves you.
Fatherhood and forgiveness both require time and conversation. Value both more than anything else with your father and with your children.
May this Father’s day lead to better fathers and more forgiving children.
There are some organizations doing some incredible things to tackle this great problem including The Mentoring Project, an organization created by Don Miller.
I encourage you to check them out. Also, President Obama is passionate about encouraging fathers to live up to that powerful title. In line with the President’s message today, seek out opportunities to mentor other kids in your immediate community who need a good male role model in their lives. All kids need good men to look up to and emulate.
I hope and pray that today is the beginning of many happy days of fatherhood for all.
(One of the best books I’ve ever read on fatherhood was titled, “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge. Any man yearning to embrace their role as father more seriously should check it out!)